After more discussion with my group we decided that the second draft for the email to send to the church confirming the location was still not sufficient. We decided that our previous drafts did not use the correct language and were too technical for the reader to understand and also gave too much information about what the film includes and that we should leave it up to the reader to ask whatever questions they would like to ask. We were aware that our next draft would need to be sufficient in the details it provides however not give too much information and not confuse the reader.
This is screenshot of the final draft of the email which has been sent off to try and confirm a location for our shoot. This draft of the email is the most effective out of all of the drafts because it is formal, contains enough detail and provides enough information for the reader without overloading them with irrelevant information.
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